Newsletter Archive
Recent Newsletters
Daddy Played for Angels - July 6, 2010 - Read...
Kelly performs her new story "Daddy Played for Angels", and announced her new show “Don’t Make Me Pull This Car Over: A Hilarious and Inspiring Journey Through Motherhood” which will debut at the annual Moms@Work Luncheon for Charlotte Parent Magazine on October 6, 2010.
Being a Motivational Speaker - March 11, 2010 - Read...
I was getting my business cards printed and I had a little extra room left on my business card beside “comedian” so I added “motivational speaker.” Wahoo! I’m a motivational speaker now! Not the kind of motivational speaker like my Aunt Ethel who motivates you to take a stick to the eye just to get out of a conversation with her. I’m a professional motivational speaker. I’m not exactly sure what I motivate people to do, but, hey, it doesn’t matter – most of them don’t have a clue either!
Hambone - February 24, 2010 - Read...
A southern wedding, Old Milwaukee, and a tater gun... what could possibly go wrong? Come back with me to that tiny town, a mile and a half past nowhere, and find out Why My Cousin Hambone Won't Eat Squash. Huh? It will all make sense. Sorta.
Turd In The Tub - February 10, 2010 - Read...
Here's a funny video about a day with my toddler son and a bath mishap. Betcha can't guess where this is going...
Military Tribute - January 13, 2010 - Read...
Kelly has posted a Tribute to the U.S. Military and Their Families on YouTube. If you're in the U.S. Military, or you have a family member serving our country, this one's for you. If you know someone who is serving, please pass this video along:
Watch Kelly's "Tribute to the U.S. Military and Their Families" on YouTube
Little Drummer Boy - December 9, 2009 - Read...
Every time I turn on the radio I hear The Little Drummer Boy. I have heard it four hundred and seventy-seven times since Thanksgiving, in three languages, in every rendition from reggae to hand bells, sung by everyone from Sinatra to Sting to the old lady who folds her laundry outside WalMart. All right already, we get it drummer boy, play the darned drum already! Because isn’t that just what every mother wants for her sleeping baby?
License Renewals - November 24, 2009 - Read...
Kelly tells the funny story of visiting the DMV and learns an unexpected lesson.
Kelly Speaking in Charlotte - October 14, 2009 - Read...
In my last newsletter announcing the charity fundraiser in Charlotte, North Carolina, I forgot to put where you can purchase tickets. Silly me!
tix.cpcc.edu or carolinatix.org or Dale F Halton Box Office
"Through Tears Comes Laughter"
donation link: http://www.firstgiving.com/glennjohnson
Kelly Swanson Speaking In Charlotte - October 8, 2009 - Read...
Come Hear Kelly Swanson And Two Other Comedians Being Featured At A Fundraiser In Charlotte, NC, On October 24th.
"Through Tears Comes Laughter", a casual event for the Pulmonary Hypertension Association, October 24, 2009 from 6 - 10:30 pm at the Dale F Halton Theater on the campus of CPCC, Charlotte, NC.
"Through Tears Comes Laughter" donation link: http://www.firstgiving.com/glennjohnson
Some of the night’s entertainers include:
Kelly Swanson – www.kellyswanson.net
Kurt Green is one of the most energetic and innovative comedians to come your way. His slant on life will make you see things that you’ve always thought of, but were afraid to laugh about. He has appeared on BET’s Comicview television for five consecutive years and has performed in Comedy Zone clubs throughout the country.
Michele Balan is a brash, New York Stand-up comedian and was one of the four finalists on NBC’s 2006 “Last Comic Standing.” She has recently appeared on Byron Allen’s Comics Unleashed. She recently opened for the Smothers Brothers 50th Anniversary Tour and is headlining all over the country in comedy clubs, cruises, corporate events, JCC’s country clubs and more. She writes for Life & Style magazine, contributor in many books and writes comedy for other well known comedians.
About the disease:
Pulmonary Hypertension is a rare blood vessel disorder of the lung in which the pressure in the pulmonary artery (the blood vessel that leads from the heart to the lungs) rises above normal levels and may become life threatening.Symptoms of pulmonary hypertension include shortness of breath with minimal exertion, fatigue, chest pain, dizzy spells and fainting. When pulmonary hypertension occurs in the absence of a known cause, it is referred to as idiopathic pulmonary arterial hypertension (IPAH). This term should not be construed to mean that because it has a single name it is a single disease. There are likely many unknown causes of IPAH. IPAH is extremely rare, occurring in about two persons per million population per year. Secondary pulmonary hypertension means the cause is known. A common cause of secondary PH are the breathing disorders emphysema and bronchitis. Other less frequent causes are the inflammatory or collagen vascular diseases such as scleroderma, CREST syndrome or systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE). Congenital heart diseases that cause shunting of extra blood through the lungs like ventricular and atrial septal defects, chronic pulmonary thromboembolism (old blood clots in the pulmonary artery), HIV infection, liver disease and diet drugs like fenfluramine and dexfenfluramine are also causes of pulmonary hypertension.
Pulmonary hypertension is frequently misdiagnosed and has often progressed to late stage by the time it is accurately diagnosed. Pulmonary hypertension has been historically chronic and incurable with a poor survival rate. However, new treatments are available which have significantly improved prognosis.
Kelly Swanson's Tribute to Teachers - August 31, 2009 - Read...
It's back to school, and what better time to tell our teachers how much they mean to us. Here's a tribute for teachers written and delivered by Kelly Swanson. Feel free to share it with any teachers you know. And whether you're a teacher or not, remember that sometimes you need to stop looking at all the things you need to do or could have done better, and pat yourself on the back for what you have done right. Lord knows nobody else will do it. Take care and stay on the funny side!
